I’ve previously discussed a topic many found puzzling: why do some people feel more relaxed and free when they’re tied up, despite the obvious restriction of movement?
Imagine people who enjoy being bound, even showing signs of mild swelling or temperature loss. When I suggest untying them, they refuse, feeling safer and more relaxed while restrained.
The Paradox of Bondage and Freedom
People often wonder why bondage, which limits freedom, makes some feel free. Are they lying? Am I spreading falsehoods? Here’s my perspective: my clients share certain traits, such as high stress, exceptional abilities, and bearing responsibilities beyond their age or experience.
Why High Achievers Seek Bondage
Modern life is stressful, especially for high achievers who bear the weight of not just their fate but also their family’s or team’s hopes. Decisions about education, career, and projects are constant sources of anxiety. They are praised when they succeed but face severe consequences if they fail. This pressure creates a feeling of drowning, leaving them anxious and confused.
Being bound provides a respite from decision-making. For a moment, they don’t have to think or make choices. The rope confines them, and they follow my lead, finding relaxation and freedom in this state of restraint.
Professional Perspective: Pressure Escaping
The American Psychiatric Association (APA) introduced the concept of “Pressure Escaping” in 1994. When stress exceeds a person’s threshold, it triggers psychological responses like depression, aversion, and the desire to escape. Different people have different ways of coping, such as traveling, staying home, watching TV, playing games, or running. Some choose BDSM for the same reasons.
Examples from the BDSM Community
Olivia Severine, a female dominant from San Francisco, mentioned that her submissives are often highly stressed and powerful individuals. They seek a break from leadership responsibilities. During their sessions, they are told what to do and how to feel, temporarily shedding the burdens of career and family.
Shae Flanigan, a dominatrix from Los Angeles, said her clients, including CEOs and lawyers, seek an environment where they don’t need to make decisions. They trust her to create an exciting and liberating world where they can let go of their thoughts and responsibilities.
Why BDSM Over Other Stress Relief Methods?
Why choose BDSM over more conventional stress relief methods like sports or singing? BDSM can be safer and more controlled, with a lower risk of physical injury. It’s also discreet and doesn’t impact others or public property. This is why the APA removed BDSM from the list of mental disorders.
Misconceptions about BDSM
If BDSM activities disturb others, like exposing oneself in public, it’s rightly condemned. However, if practiced privately and safely, it’s unfair to label it as perverse. Everyone deserves the freedom to relieve stress in their way, as long as it’s done responsibly and without harming others.
References:
- Zhang, Zhichang. “On Foucault’s Discipline and Punish.” Jiangsu Social Sciences, 2004.
- Li, Yinhe. “Subculture of Sadomasochism.” China Friendship Publishing Company, 2002.
- Baumeister, R. F. “Masochism as Escape from Self.” Journal of Sex Research, 1988.
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