Kneeling is a common practice in BDSM and one of the most expressive ways to demonstrate the power exchange in this type of play.
Today, let’s delve into the use of “kneeling” in BDSM: when to use it, how to use it, and some useful tips.
As a seasoned sub, I often fantasized about kneeling on my bed imagining a well-dressed man sitting opposite me with his legs crossed.
“When studying became too tiring, I would kneel on my bed and fantasize about my future, happy life.”
When I first had a phone session with a dom, his first command was, “Kneel.” This marked the beginning of our power play, where I voluntarily handed over my power to him.
This is the first type of kneeling I want to discuss. This command serves as the opening line of the scene. The dom can be standing or sitting with his legs crossed (the latter is my personal favorite).
During my first session with my dom, I was kneeling on the bed, which was soft and comfortable, so it didn’t feel punitive at all. This type of kneeling isn’t about punishment but about establishing the roles and power dynamics.
Another important use of non-punitive kneeling is to establish rules and emphasize the dominant’s authority. For instance, the dom might order the sub to kneel and then say, “From now on, you will address me as ‘Master.’ You cannot do anything without my permission. Remember, our safe word is ‘Cilantro.’”
(Side note: emphasizing the safe word during this time is a good practice as it reassures the submissive about their safety.)
On the other hand, there’s punitive kneeling. The variations for punitive kneeling are endless and quite creative. Many doms come up with innovative ways to “torture” their subs.
For example, making the sub kneel and watch them eat fried chicken and drink beer without letting the sub drool, or making them recite “The Gettysburg Address” while kneeling (with a penalty for every mistake), or balancing a stack of books on their head while kneeling (dropping a book results in spankings).
Since this is a punishment, the kneeling time is longer and on harder surfaces. As a fan of kneeling punishments, I’ve knelt on tiled floors, carpets, beds, and pillows (from most to least painful).
Some creative doms might suggest kneeling on a washboard, spiked mat, or durian shells. Before using such tools, I suggest the dominant try them on themselves to understand the level of pain and potential damage before making their sub kneel for an extended period.
If you aim to achieve a punitive effect, you might want to skip the bed and pillow. Tiled floors are extremely painful; the moment my knees hit the ground, I could hear my kneecaps cracking. Kneeling on thin carpets can still be painful without causing significant knee damage, providing a balanced punitive effect.
If you’re at a hotel or home where the carpet isn’t regularly cleaned, consider getting a dedicated 18×18 inch mat for kneeling. It’s portable and convenient.
The kneeling position can be combined with other activities. For instance, my dom once made me kneel while using toys on me, making it hard to maintain my posture. Seeing me shivering while trying to stay still was quite exciting for him.
Kneeling can also be combined with spanking for a dual punishment effect. The sub can kneel, hold the wall, and stick their butt out for a spanking session. This position can be combined with various tools, but safety and proper technique are crucial. For beginners, spanking the butt is recommended.
I once saw a touching rope bondage performance where the sub knelt on the ground while the rigger adjusted the knots, sometimes kneeling and sometimes standing. Combining kneeling with bondage can create a very intimate and affectionate scene.
I strongly recommend experienced BDSM practitioners try incorporating kneeling with bondage. When the dom kneels to tie their sub, it creates an incredibly romantic and intimate moment.
I hope these insights help you understand how to effectively incorporate kneeling into your BDSM play.
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