Last Monday, a pair of partners shared with me their recent pleasurable experience.
It wasn’t a traditional bedroom activity but rather something they came up with one day. They decided that A would transform B into a coffee table and actually use B as a coffee table for half an hour.
B described their experience as follows:
“We planned this scenario together. First, my mouth was gagged, and then I was given a completely sealed hood to ensure I couldn’t see or speak, as a coffee table can’t see or talk, which was very important.
Then, my limbs were secured, and since I couldn’t speak, I held a small ball in my hand as a safe word. If I couldn’t endure it anymore, I could drop the ball to signal the safe word. Finally, a wooden board was placed on my back, turning me into a makeshift coffee table.
I couldn’t move at all, couldn’t see, and couldn’t express myself. I could only hear his footsteps moving closer or farther away from me, feel things being placed on my back, and then he took off his coat and hung it around my neck, turning my neck into his coat rack.
The most humiliating part was when he turned on the TV and put his feet on my butt, just like he usually did when we watched TV together, except normally I’d be in his arms, but now I was the coffee table.
This reversal of roles really got to me. It felt like I was just like the TV cabinet, the table, or the chairs at home, all at his disposal. We talked about it afterward, and he could also enjoy this kind of pleasure, so next time we’re planning to transform me into different pieces of furniture.”
This practice in BDSM has its own term, “Human Furniture,” and the psychological explanation behind it also has a professional term, “sexual objectification.” Simply put, it means “treating a person’s sexual aspect as an object or commodity, disregarding their personal dignity.” Some people enjoy this feeling, while others detest it, seeing it as a form of discrimination.
In 1969, the famous British pop artist Allen Jones created three artworks titled “Hatstand,” “Table,” and “Chair,” showcasing white women turned into furniture using clay, glass, and other materials.
When these artworks were auctioned at Sotheby’s, they faced severe protests from feminists, who argued that they involved extreme gender discrimination and sexual objectification. Some even threatened, “Whoever buys this will be a perpetual enemy of women.”
Therefore, to avoid such situations in this article, I want to explain the difference between “sexual objectification” in real society and “sexual objectification” in BDSM before discussing “Human Furniture.”
In most patriarchal societies, sexual objectification usually accompanies the “male gaze.” For example, female streamers who conform to male aesthetic standards (breasts, waist-hips, legs, etc.) receive more tips; women who conform to male aesthetic standards in other jobs also find it easier to get promoted. Some might argue that no one forces you, and you can do other jobs like street sweeping that don’t consider body shape.
However, this creates a narrower job market for women, who, in addition to considering general job capabilities, must also consider an implicit “sexual resource.” This kind of sexual objectification is widespread and leaves no room for choice, hence its disdain.
In BDSM, however, a game between partners is different.
Like all BDSM activities, it requires “mutual consent” before practice. In a sexual objectification game, both parties clearly know what will happen next and voluntarily play their preferred roles, with one temporarily playing the user and the other the object being used, and they can stop at any time with a safe word.
The power flow here reflects each party’s subjective will, unlike social conflicts where it’s forced or without choice. In life, someone might have to live up to stereotypes for a livelihood, but in play, as long as partners communicate effectively, no one can force you to do anything you don’t want.
In other words, you can be a feminist advocating for “equal rights” and still enjoy playing “sexual objectification” with your partner. They are not contradictory because the ability to freely choose who you want to be is a manifestation of “sovereignty over oneself.”
Now, let’s specifically talk about “Human Furniture.”
You might wonder, why would anyone enjoy being treated as an object? Isn’t it uncomfortable to be left like that?
As B mentioned at the beginning, previously, B watched their partner put his feet on the coffee table while sitting in his arms, but now B is the coffee table.
In “Human Furniture,” the important part isn’t what kind of furniture you become but the sense of degradation and humiliation from the power dynamics.
Namio Harukawa (May 1947 – April 24, 2020) was a Japanese illustrator whose works often depicted this feeling.
In his works, the typical scene features a woman in a high position, the mistress of the house or room, while some men are transformed into tables, shoe racks, chandeliers, and are humiliated and used by the mistress.
Harukawa’s two volumes of work were published by the French publisher Callipyge in 2009 and exhibited at the Museum of Eroticism in Paris in 2013.
For some people, temporarily giving up power and being objectified as an item, ignoring their dignity and needs, and being used at will by their partner is very appealing, akin to the psychological concept of “power regression.”
Is it safe to be turned into an object or furniture?
To be honest, there are many precautions, and it is not safe for inexperienced people.
More honestly, while the submissive might chill and enjoy being an object, the dominant cannot truly treat them as an object. On the contrary, because the submissive cannot express themselves, the dominant needs to stay alert and monitor their condition constantly.
Healthy Psychological State
Firstly, everyone needs to know that only practices involving mutual participation, informed consent, and equal communication are healthy.
Thus, it’s highly recommended that partners sit down and discuss things equally before starting. For example, the fantasies both want to realize, as well as their boundaries and taboos.
For instance, some people in an objectified state do not want their partner to be too far away, fearing they will feel scared if they lose contact; some want to see everything, so they don’t like being blindfolded.
Everyone should understand that it’s okay to have various peculiar needs, and you should only practice what both parties can accept. You are not obligated to say “yes” to something you don’t want, even if you are the submissive party. You can always refuse.
Constantly Monitor Physical State
The human body is prone to cramps and numbness if kept in one position for a long time, so it’s recommended that the dominant frequently ask the partner if they are uncomfortable. If either party notices signs like involuntary shivering or numbness, it’s advisable to stop and rest immediately.
Additionally, joints like the knees and elbows can become stiff after being bent for a long time. Be very careful and slow when stretching them out to avoid ligament injuries.
Safe Word
Unlike general BDSM activities, when transformed into furniture, the submissive usually can’t speak. Thus, it’s recommended to use an object as a safe word. Like B mentioned at the beginning, holding a small ball and dropping it to signal that all activities need to stop immediately.
I started with B’s feelings about being a coffee table but didn’t include partner A’s until now. During our conversation, A said many insightful things, which I’ll summarize as the conclusion for today:
“Objectification and becoming furniture have always been my hidden kinks. When I casually mentioned it to B, she became very excited and began fantasizing about which furniture she could transform into.
When her vision was blocked and her breathing became rapid, I knew she genuinely enjoyed it.
The probability of one person wanting to treat their partner as an object and the other enjoying being treated as an object is extremely low.
I always believe good intimacy starts with communication. Because we discovered we both liked it, we could actively plan this scenario together. I came up with bad ideas, and she occasionally had new thoughts, making the whole process doubly enjoyable. This is entirely different from one person pushing and the other passively accepting.
Even though I was the dominant, I never felt like her owner or a commander. We were more like departments in a company working together to achieve the same goal, which was to keep her in the ‘coffee table’ state for as long as possible. I was responsible for choosing the right fixing method and the appropriate weight for the table surface; she was responsible for assessing her physical condition, going to yoga classes to improve her flexibility and core strength, and so on.
After the aftercare, it almost felt like a project review meeting at work, happily congratulating each other. If you ask about the project’s return, it was gaining intimate trust.”
- End –
References:
- Vivastreet. (n.d.). Sexual Objectification: What It Is and How to Combat It. Vivastreet Blog. Retrieved April 2, 2023, from https://www.vivastreet.co.uk/blog/sexual-objectification/
- “Hatstand, Table and Chair.” (n.d.). In Wikipedia. Retrieved April 2, 2023, from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hatstand,_Table_and_Chair
- Sooke, A. (2014, November 10). Allen Jones: The Man Who Gave Us the Blow-Up Sex Doll. The Guardian. Retrieved April 2, 2023, from https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2014/nov/10/allen-jones-sexist-art-royal-academy-review
- Wikipedia contributors. (n.d.). “Human furniture.” In Wikipedia. Retrieved April 2, 2023, from
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_furniture#cite_note-2
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