[1] Sexual Boredom
When it comes to sex, people often get excited, especially about fetishes. There are thousands of fetishes, and more often than not, they trigger an explosion of hormones and desires, sometimes having little to do with actual intercourse.
Firstly, whether one can develop a fetish is usually apparent during sexual awakening. Secondly, many people, after having mastered the basics of intercourse, find it hard to get excited quickly and reach a state of high arousal. Thus, they become followers of other rituals, constantly challenging their own limits.
To be more blunt, as you get older, regular sex can become boring. Because both quantity and quality keep improving, small advancements like role-playing, exhibitionism, car sex, spanking, etc., quickly become mundane.
Girls might interrupt: “Intimate moments with a loved one are better than an orgasm!”
We’re talking about different things, move along… In long-term relationships, without sustained sexual attraction, the duration of the relationship often depends on other factors of mutual need.
[2] The Concept of Openness
Sometimes people say that the openness of society is shocking and offensive. However, in this so-called open and civilized era, we are actually quite conservative. Looking back at early European sexual history or the erotic tales of ancient China, today’s so-called open society is quite civilized.
After all, it was only at the end of 1949 that China began to shut down brothels, opium dens, and casinos. Think about it, we missed the “good old days” by just a few decades. If I hadn’t moved to Beijing a few years ago, or if I were born earlier, I would’ve found the current nightlife in Sanlitun quite dull compared to the historical red-light districts of old Beijing.
[3] Fetishes
When it comes to fetishes, people lust after them shamelessly while simultaneously condemning them. In the end, the beauty of human nature is often imprisoned and labeled as perversion. People spy, despise, seek, and hide.
Next, I’ll talk about things that are not rare in life but often overlooked due to their transparency.
Let’s first discuss what is unacceptable and should not exist.
1. Pedophilia.
2. Necrophilia (also known as thanatophilia).
3. Illegal confinement.
4. S&M involving minors.
5. The “Genji Plan” (relationships with much younger individuals).
6. Pregnancy fetish.
7. Destroying a person’s identity and brainwashing them into a sex slave through mental manipulation.
Now, let’s talk about other fetishes. Here are some examples (apologies if any descriptions are inaccurate):
Polyamory:
• Wife swapping, cuckolding.
Body Parts:
• Common ones include foot fetishes, anal fixation, large/small breast fetish. Other body parts can also be fetishized, like hip bones, belly, extremely thin waists, or extreme obesity.
Filth Fetish:
• Excited by feces, urine, vomit, or filming others using the toilet.
Blood Fetish:
• Enjoying piercings, suspension, seeing blood. I don’t think violence and piercing are part of BDSM; many people separate them. Some like licking bloodstains.
Perversion:
• Getting aroused by lewd behavior, like panties or stockings. I find this type of fetish rather endearing.
Rape Fetish:
• Excited by violent attacks, Stockholm Syndrome. People with this fetish may feel aroused when they genuinely sense danger, often exposing themselves to risky situations.
Violence Fetish:
• Responding physiologically to violence, scars, or bloodstains, often seen in women who idolize primal male hormones. Some may want their partner to hit them, seeing bruises but not blood.
Verbal Fetish:
• Aroused by hearing or saying lots of dirty talk, similar to an affinity for cybersex.
Rape Play:
• Unable to have normal sex without blindfolds, restraints, and threats. May eventually develop into actual rape.
Bestiality:
• Anthropomorphism of animals or sexual relations between humans and animals.
Somnophilia:
• Not necrophilia, but a tendency towards it. Enjoying interacting with and having sex with sleeping people.
Voyeurism:
• Enjoying eavesdropping, spying, listening in on phone calls, or watching secretly.
Photography Fetish:
• Some love taking candid shots; others prefer staged scenes with plots. They enjoy collecting these works, recording them on DVDs/photos, and organizing them meticulously.
Shibari:
• Bondage with different materials and locations. Some like the pain, some like the beauty, and some like the sexual training.
Narcissism:
• Achieving orgasm faster by looking at themselves. They may enjoy looking at their own face during key moments or having backgrounds related to themselves, such as images, music, or videos.
Object Fetish:
• High heels and stockings fall under this, as well as items with special textures. Childhood attachments to certain objects might evolve into fetishes, where they caress or bite these objects, often losing interest in the opposite sex’s body but becoming obsessed with these items.
Acrotomophilia:
• Attracted to amputees, based on mainstream aesthetics. It’s not about making someone disabled, but rather an attraction to already disabled individuals.
Gerontophilia:
• Only getting aroused by elderly people.
Narratophilia:
• Enjoying telling or listening to stories, akin to a pen pal personality, preferring to stay in the shadows and engage in storytelling or self-stimulation.
Confinement Fetish:
• Enthusiasts of small spaces, often with childhood trauma. They find a willing confiner and a willing confined, creating a beautiful world together.
Asphyxiophilia:
• Apart from during sex, severe cases may involve daily activities like swimming, holding their breath, or not breathing, which can cause arousal. Beginners are advised not to try this without experience or safe tools, as it can be fatal. If you must try, do it against a wall, so you can signal by knocking if you can’t speak while being choked.
Sexual Sadism:
Sexual Masochism:
Incest, Group Sex, Voyeurism, Exhibitionism, Transvestism, Frottage, Breast Milk Fetish, Menstrual Fetish…
Other common practices include public exhibition, large breasts, ladyboys, internal ejaculation, public training, outdoor nude photography, etc.
I’ve spent a whole night writing this, and there’s still a lot I haven’t covered, especially those involving harm to others and so-called “S&M”. The fetishes listed above can find mutually complementary partners. But harming others, such as body modification, sacrificial offerings, bloodletting, live killing, and raw consumption, are beyond my understanding and not recommended.
[4] Questions
Do people with fetishes constitute perverts, pose a danger to others, or are they normal?
Are they perverts? Perhaps interesting but also with a hint of malice makes a pervert.
Are they a danger to others? In a law-abiding society, people with a basic level of intelligence are not easily victimized. After all, many who break the law or betray relationships don’t even have fetishes.
Are they normal? This idea is too funny, moving on.
The proportion of people with fetishes in society is almost invisible; only those with similar interests can detect each other’s presence. Because it’s not openly acknowledged and addressed, these small groups and individuals lack standards and rules, groping their way alone. One person meets another, perhaps having felt lonely and desperate, perhaps having been hurt and discriminated against. If beauty is bright and warm, then obscurity is hidden and great.
[5] Fetishes Are Not Lewd
Compared to the concept that fetishes are inherently lewd, it’s actually the people who can be lewd. Here are some examples, mainly about straight men, based on some common statements I’ve heard.
For example: “I’m open to an open relationship.”
Fine, an open relationship, you’re willing to be a cuckold or enjoy wife-swapping. But if it’s just an excuse to cheat, then expect disdain. Imagine being sick at night, while your partner dresses to leave another man’s bed, explaining, “Sorry, my boyfriend has a fever, I’ll come back tomorrow for sex.” “No problem, no problem, he’s open to an open relationship. Tomorrow you can bring your friend too, after I give him his medicine we can have a threesome.”
Another example: “I’m a reformed bad boy, why won’t women wait for me?”
Sounds great, a reformed bad boy. Do you know what pairs best with a reformed bad boy? — A reformed prostitute.
And another: “Monogamy goes against human nature, marriage is not the way to witness love.”
No problem, if not for monogamy. Better to be a concubine of a wealthy noble or a mistress of a rich tycoon. Congratulations, you might have no wife to marry.
These statements may sound harsh. Of course, in a lifetime, it can be challenging to only have sex with one person from a certain point onwards, requiring self-restraint and self-sacrifice. But this might be a valid way to prove love. Everything has two sides; self-discipline and responsibility bring rewards. Self-centeredness seeking supply-demand relationships is also valid. The only boundary is not to be sly or hypocritical. If you seek freedom, don’t betray others.
[6] Fetishes and Sexual Relationships
Honestly, I don’t have a clear thought process or a definitive stance on this issue.
But if you ask me, what to do if you like someone but they have a peculiar fetish?
I only know that, except for Quentin Tarantino with his foot fetish, I wouldn’t put my foot in any man’s mouth.
Since two people, whether same-sex or opposite-sex, can bond over a shared love for a song or a favorite dish and call it fate, why not celebrate finding a shared fetish? As for emotional expression and relationship dynamics, stay sincere. Respecting your choices is respecting yourself, and cherish those worth cherishing.
[7] Final Fantasy
The fantasy and beauty of emotions: they do have an age limit.
The exchange and coexistence of souls: many people don’t have souls, right?
The resonance and game of sexual desire: be brave, perhaps the only thing left to give are these lovely little fetishes.
Curiosity and eagerness to try: Joker beating Harley is a constant theme; the allure of dangerous relationships is that they are truly dangerous.
Conclusion: In this bitter era, men and women don’t need to struggle over loyalty and truth, the answers are clear to both. At least when we meet naked, we are treating each other with sincerity.
—END—
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