Hi everyone,
In a previous article, we briefly mentioned the film “Secretary.” Despite its translated title suggesting a trashy flick (whoever translated this should be fired!), the movie, shortly after its release, received multiple nominations at the Sundance Film Festival and the Locarno International Film Festival. It has proven to be an easily overlooked gem within the BDSM community.
If you’re expecting a straightforward erotic film, you might be disappointed.
Exploring Love Through BDSM
Any film or novel featuring BDSM elements essentially delves into the nature of love, and “Secretary” is no different.
The protagonist, Lee, grows up in a dysfunctional household. Her father, consumed by alcoholism, often neglects her, while her mother’s overbearing control and excessive attention cause Lee immense pressure. This leads Lee to find solace through self-harm.
Edward, the male lead, is depicted as weak and sensitive, especially when confronted by his domineering ex-wife. In his self-introduction, he describes himself as shy, struggling with various interpersonal issues. Despite his awareness of what a “normal person” should be, he tries to play the role of a normal boss while wrestling with his desires. He and Lee engage in a dance of restraint and indulgence, ambiguity and tension.
The Dynamics of Their Relationship
In Lee’s eyes, Edward is gentle while tending to orchids, restrained when he looks at her, caring when he sees her self-harm scars, and controlling when punishing her for mistakes. She develops an admiration for him akin to a young girl’s infatuation with an older man. She finds in him an outlet for her inner desires, to the extent that she would rather starve for days than disobey his commands.
Edward observes her every move, secretly adoring her actions while simultaneously confining her. Lee’s endearing gestures have a fatal allure for him. Her innocent habits, like sniffing or playing with her hair, seem like invitations for him to vent his desires. Thus, under the guise of being her boss, he punishes her like a pet, feeding her and making her crawl across the hallway.
Edward struggles to balance his infatuation with Lee and his moral conscience. He knows what he’s doing is unethical. But he doesn’t realize that his actions bring Lee immense joy. Acts that seem humiliating to others give her intense pleasure. She craves more physical contact and intimacy with Edward, beyond the realm of mere disciplinary play.
A Battle of Desires
As their relationship blurs the lines between boss and secretary, Edward starts to evade and suppress his desires. Subconsciously, he feels unworthy of trust or love and fears losing control if their relationship progresses further. In Edward’s struggle, Lee bravely proves her love for him through her actions. Her eyes sparkle with determination as she gazes directly into his. She bets her love on three days of fasting, ultimately conquering the man who initially sought to dominate her.
A Dom and Brat Love Story
Strictly speaking, this is a love story between a Dom and a brat. When Edward finds physical evidence of his desires, he experiences a strong physiological aversion. He tries to suppress his sexual urges towards Lee, controlling every aspect of her life, including how many peas she eats in a meal. This control and exercise of power are characteristic of a Dominant/submissive (D/s) relationship, where the Dominant sets rules and expects them to be followed, maintaining control through various means.
When Lee isn’t satisfied with the frequency or intensity of Edward’s disciplinary actions, she deliberately makes mistakes to attract his attention—typical brat behavior, pushing boundaries to test the Dominant’s limits and reactions.
Throughout the film, they encounter other individuals with similar sadistic or masochistic tendencies, but they never ignite the same romantic sparks. Their love transcends the mere act of dominance and submission.
“To love is not just to marry, have children, and fulfill societal roles. It is to find that one person in the world who resonates with your spirit, so we won’t be lonely and can embrace the earth anew.”
Finally, let’s conclude with Lee’s poignant words during her three-day fast:
“In one way or another I’ve always suffered. I didn’t know why exactly. But I do know that I’m not so scared of suffering now. I feel more than I’ve ever felt and I’ve found someone to feel with. To play with. To love in a way that feels right for me. I hope he knows that I can see that he suffers too. And that I want to love him.”
(The End)
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